Pirates Don’t Babysit! tells the story of nine year old Jenny and a band of Pirates who show up at her door, looking for buried treasure. She agrees to help them on two conditions. They must make her a member of their pirate band, and most importantly they must help take care of her baby sister. But pirates don’t babysit! They agree to try, but of course the bumbling Pirates mess everything up. Finally they manage to succeed in making the baby happy. And in fact, it is the baby that helps them find their treasure in the end!
Jenny – a feisty nine-year-old girl.
Mom – a slightly frazzled mother of two.
Mary-Ann – The baby in the bassinet. Heard but never seen.
Captain Nobeard – The leader of the Pirates. Loud and bombastic.
Harriet – A rough-and-tumble pirate with a peg-leg, a hook-hand, and an eye patch.
Butch – A sweet, somewhat effeminate pirate with a pronounced lisp.
Mongo – A fierce giant of a man with a tender heart.
2016 Toronto Fringe Festival – Fringekids, George Ignatieff Theatre
Pirates Don’t Babysit! is available through the CPO Website.
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It may be simplest for staging if the character of Mary-Ann is prerecorded.